The Babysitter

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If College-Themed Porn Were Real

  • Situation One: The Naughty Student
    Cindi, an attractive student with a large rack, walks up to the desk of her professor.

    Porn:
    Cindi: Is there anything I can do to raise this grade?
    Professor: Some students do extra credit work.
    Cindi: (has sex with him)

    Reality:
    Cindi: Is there anything I can do to raise this grade?
    Professor: Some students do extra credit work.
    Cindi: Like what?
    Professor: A seven- to ten-page report about the economic principles behind trade rules in a Micronesian country of your choosing.
    Cindi: Oh. That makes sense and is an appropriate extra credit assignment for the course.


    Situation Two: The Hot Teacher
    Paul, a student in his late twenties, walks up to the desk of his teacher, Professor Mandy, who has enormous breasts.

    Porn:
    Paul: You wanted to see me after class, professor?
    Professor Mandy: Yes. I need to test your performance.
    Paul: How?
    Professor Mandy: (fellates Paul)

    Reality:
    Paul: You wanted to see me after class, professor?
    Professor Mandy: Yes. I need to test your performance.
    Paul: How?
    Professor Mandy: A series of tests based on the material covered in this course.
    Paul: Could I just have sex with you instead?
    Professor Mandy: (sues Paul)


    Situation Three: The Sorority
    Between two and a half-dozen attractive coeds sit on a large bed, in nighties which barely contain their ample bosoms.

    Porn:
    Head Sorority Girl: Let's have a naked pillowfight!
    Assistant Head Sorority Girl: And practice kissing!
    Sorority Girls: (do those things)

    Reality:
    I kind of assume this is what actually happens in sororities.


    Situation Four: The Curious Freshman
    A very attractive freshman girl named Candi sits on a bed with her boyfriend, Brett. Did I mention that Candi has boobs the size of overripe grapefruit? She does.

    Porn:
    Brett: Let's try anal sex.
    Candi: Okay.

    Reality:
    Brett: Let's try anal sex.
    Candi: No.


    Situation Five: The Janitor
    A strangely-muscular janitor knocks on the door of Bambi, a girl whose low-cut shirt reveals a veritable explosion of cleavage.

    Porn:
    Janitor: Do those pipes need cleaning?
    Bambi: (apparently this is all the pillow talk she needs to have all kinds of sex with him)

    Reality:

    Janitor: Perhaps I should have stayed in school.
    Bambi: I can see how you could be disappointed with your station in life.


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Description: Hahaha, I got a good laugh out of this and you probably will too if you give it a chance.
Added: January 21, 2008
Funny Rating: 
Views: 118189 views
post a comment | view all comments (11)

strickj says:
 

how many college girls have "enormous breasts"?
the fat ones
1/29/08 10:42:44 PM
 
And tell me again... how many college girls have "enormous breasts"?
1/22/08 01:58:52 AM
khaine117 says:
 

lol, yes it was quite funny , i liked the last line tbh
1/21/08 10:13:58 PM
Unregistered Losers say:
(2008-01-23) hilarious...
(2008-01-22) kinda :P

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